Back in the 80’s, I spent two years studying with native folk who ran a healing center on Oregon’s Mt. Hood.  The women and men there Continue reading “Water teachings”

I teach and practice “interdependence” – that united I am much stronger than seperated.   Some of the early AA speakers spoke of “the committee”, those voices in my head that robs serenity.  Space to stretch as our pets and animal relatives teach me, The “Tree of Life” is at the core of pagan earth based tribes.  The healing outside begins inside.  The 12 steps lead to the happy, joyous and free life that are the promises of recovery.  The single family unit has fed duality, all or nothing thinking and “consumerism”. – On the AA medallions given for years and stages of sobriety – the fundamentalists to the mystics who have learned the grail of silence.  Porn, drugs, the profane dwells within the all that is.  AA’s “to thine own self, be true” is the first wedding prior to any other outside marriage or hand-fasting

the two begins with the ascension from the “bondage of self”.   Embracing the both and yin/yang within.  My seven chakras go from my root chakra “iron John” to the Namaste of ascended mastery. From survival attitudes to thrival and gratitude.  My 48 years of freedom from alcohol only came from “one day at a time” and learning about “the non-progressive” Great Spirit.  the gifts of the “painstaking” shadow work – the happy, joyous and freedom from the “rule of gold”.  Do I have the courage to discern, the first lesson of the “handless maiden”.  I will go into the others later.  To know that I am a spiritual being in a human experience.

My 12 steps and the Red Road classes prepare us for the removal of barriers to playing with my whole heart once more.  I used to know this, but like any other dis-use, atrophy wins by default.

I began to see deeply into the emotions stirring within and to learn the art of feeling – the yin of my atrophied and co-creative side.  It helped to begin a lefting practice, as my atrophied side was what got “left out”.  I am a master of the art of drum making, the nearest thing yang can get to yin within me.  I have “birthed” thousands of drums with my own hands and heart.

I earned a masters degree in counseling and rehabilitation at Marshall University, one of the gifts of sobriety.  I first attained my Regents BA degree by gaining credits for my New York Institute of Finance, Registered Rep/stockbroker and commodities trader (Registered with Chicago board of Trade.  my fund raising experience and was blessed to have Dr. Wallace and other teachers who fed me what I was “ripe” to learn.  As I remember, I was addicted to perfectionism (one of the four universal addictions), and went through with a 4.0 Average.  I would drop courses I wasn’t doing well in and retake until I knew statistics, means, modes and mediums and both the behaviorists and the humanists.  I chose the one that the 12 steps of recovery from addictions, which is the work of Dr.s Fritz and Laura Perls, and attended workshops at the Cleveland Gestalt Institute.  The essense of gestalt is that my point of power is in this present moment, and the “how it works” involves no explanations or justifications, which are defense mechanisms.

My coyote was birthed by my New York experience.  The positive was seeing “Hair”, Jesus Christ Superstar, Man of La Mancha and other broadway musicals.  Being a Pinson, I loved to sing.  Like my father “Froggy” Pinson, I was a keeper of the songs, and upon meeting a fellow Scorpio woman while conducting a drum making workshop in England named Lynn Gosney. we brought the Celtic lodge to bear creek’s Heartspace.   My spirit guide is an eagle, which brougnt me to bear creek.  From my eagle view, I can see a greater vision than the mouse.   I see doctor assisted psychedelic healings, sweat lodges, organic gardens tended by the children as part of an earth school that is birthing.

My journey of the vision and birth of a drum business began with “fishing”.  To determine if their was a market.  My buddy Bob, Vicky and I came up with the name Cedar Mountain Drums.  I placed an in Shaman’s Drum Magazine,  for “instructions on how to build a shamans drum”, send $2.00.  The response affirmed my guidance to “follow the drum – follow my heart”.  I received the vision of Cedar Mountain Drums – I took the dream I had of the little girl, the hoop and the bear, and that led me to a series of miracles by the actions of others to bring the blessings of Martin High Bear, a Teton Sioux  medicine man, whose message was one of love and forgiveness, and releasing the facades I wore to cover the pain inside that I protected.  Another Native man did body work on me to retrieve that lost little  Patrick, that longed to play with his whole heart.  I was led out of the cave by a hawk, who made it safe for me to venture out.  (see Heartline Bear article)

I was later to meet and do Ceremony with Timothy , both a road man and a facilitator of plant spirit healing.  Mother Aya was my stern teacher.  I had asked for the truth, and was taken to the mirror revealing my true nature – a spiritual being in this body I had neglected, abused and fed fast foods to.  Our bodies are the perfect instruments – revealing our divine feminine nature.  The Goddess has long been a threat to the money changers,  and billionaires who live in the Titan realm of Samsara – those who can have anything they desire except happiness.  The rule of gold has replaced the golden rule and passes from the congregation to the Priest/Preachers who “spread the gospel” around the world.  This punishing God had to be put out to pasture and a more real and functional higher power called in with the sweetgrass – the inbreath.  I release the fear, I call in the love, or my loving nature – the gifts of the east – the birth of Osiris each day.  AA reminds me not to let the sun to set on my wrath”.  Before going on the hill, do the preparation (90% of ceremony is preparation).  Finishing is the  Omega.  Endings must happen in order to begin – the alpha and omega, or all that is.

My last drink was Feb. of 1975.  Working the 12 steps and a prayer on a hill led me to the drum – the heartbeat of my mother. As a drum maker, I have learned the importance of a balanced life of work, play, love and support. The drum hoop is the foundation – the walk around the wheel of life and plant trees to feed and provide for future generations. The red road and 12 steps has been my guide to a life of gratitude and hope. I have been given this day to “hook up” to ki, chi or the higher power that guides me. Each morning I either wake up with yesterday or I I see with “new eyes” as a child – becoming childlike rather than childish.
Embracing my yin/yang nature is the path of happiness, abundance and joy – singing my/our songs once more. The drum is my mother – her heart and mine beating as one.
My mind, my creative fire, my groundedness and roots and my journey back to spirit is the gift of life.
Both and – clear mind, intention, perseverance and courage and widsom to change what I can, which is my own attitude – is it one of entitlement or gratitude? Embracing my beast and my beauty, and walking the red road – from body to spirit. The gift of life to use my gifts or waste chasing love. Be still, and the guidance will come. In nature I heal.
Embrace the diversity within and forgiveness for my past ignorance. Walking around the wheel of life – mind, spirit, body and soul is both woman/man inside – each day, I have a do-over… to let go of expectations and be grateful for what I have. – the walk around the wheel of life and the four ridges – the unborn and newborn, the children and adolescents, the adults and the elders – I am an elder who has wizened or been wizened by my decent into the underworld to rescue the lost souls. I was/am a spiritual being in a human experience. My creator has three answers to my prayers yes, no and wait. Impatience is ignorance extended. Meditation is listening for divine guidance – having patience is heartspace. In the beautiful “Pachamama” song, there is a verse that goes….”there’s no highs nor lows, there is nowhere you need to go, just inside of you is a star, saying just be as you are. The nature of me is to relax my asshole and let go of “trying”, which is “lying”. In my work with shadow, the mirror is used to see the beast and beauty in myself, and feed the beauty a bit more than the beast. “I have seen the enemy, and it is me”. Self love develops esteem – I am no greater nor lesser than you – I have only to let you in – open to revive and receive the radiance inside – this is my “luster” the root of lust. At the winter of my life, hospice has five stages before we return to the “happy hunting ground” Please forgive me, I forgive you, thank you, I love you and goodbye. The eagle guided me to both Portland and Carson. Chivito, my friends and I are collaborating to bring back a school of drum making, rattle making, drum circles and eco-phychology at bear creek – a school, church of the sweat lodge, sauna and hot tubs and organically grown food prepared with loving intent from our sacred Mother Earth – Without hope, the people perish, so I woke up this morning without an alarm, immersed myself in the warm waters of my hot tub and gave thanks for a new day.

Patrick’s ramblings on solstice from my journal:  Dec. 23

The snow queen is visiting Portland. my back deck containing my hot tub was ice and I dared to venture into the warm waters of where I was re-birthed – my hot tub.  My dear friend and fellow Scorpio  Franz brought Ken, a lodge singer and another Scorpio who repaired my clear canopy roof over my  my tub.  A limb had crashed through and broken the paper thin cover. Continue reading “Patrick’s in and out of the garbage pail Winter – the snow queen”

Value and Values in Community  – Patrick Pinson  10/07  From an old writing

 

In the “Personal Growth Groups” I have led, I did an exercise in listing each participant’s values…what they held as most sacred in their lives.  It was revealing to them to see the similarities of our values. Continue reading “rethinking our values”

10/18/2011 Patrick’s blog – this is from an old blog of mine.

Reflections on the Shadow

This time of year reminds me of the Owl and Raven, sometimes called “The eagles of the darkness” for their ability to see and hunt in the darkness.  In our Current class, “The Teachings of the West” I use many resource books.  One of these in entitled “Shadow Dance”.  In that book they speak of the “positive” shadow, where we can “lose face”, or not have to use the ego to explain and justify.  The author goes on to say, “A healthy person can tolerate intimidation without having to appease the intimidator.  He or she can tolerate rejection without having to get back at someone for a personal affront.  Fearlessness is simply “no contest” in the face of these conditions of existence and relating; it is defenselessness.   Fearfulness is an inability to be that vulnerable; it is defendedness.  This is why fear is the opposite of love.  People may hurt or scare us, but that no longer compels us to punish or placate them.  Our ruffled ego no longer suborns us with fear of losing face or the desire to win.  Love impels us instead to the warmhearted alternative it always finds”. The fall is the “going within”, the time for introspection and inventory.  This is time to look objectively at our strengths and weaknesses, assets and liabilities. The other animal associated with the west is the Heart-Line Bear.  When we begin the powerful work of soul retrieval, we must not only face the abuse we carry from our abusers, but also feel the pain that made the little one inside go away.  The feelings reside in the heart, and the bear is the protector of this child’s spirit.  In order to get our whole heart back, we must prove to Grandmother Bear that we can love and nurture ourselves.

There are songs that express our souls.  One of my favorite gospel songs that my grandma used to sing was “How Great Thou Art,” which resonates with my 7-year-old prayers Grandma used to teach me – ‘God is great, God is good and we thank him for our food.’  Continue reading “The Ending is the Beginning”

The Autumn Equinox Bear Creek “Heartspace” sweat lodge will be October 1st rather than September 24th.  My good friend Franz will be helping and is out of town on the scheduled date so hopefully the burn ban is off. We will have an orientation/talking circle on Friday Evening, so those intending to join us please arrive Friday, and Invite no one without checking with me.  Also, plan to stay over until Sunday.  Protocol will be sent to those who request.

Continue reading “The “Mirror of the West””

Having grown up in Huntington WV, I love the character of the people of Appalachia “almost heaven”. I earned a B.A and M.A. from Marshall and back in my college days in the 60’s we would go on spring break to Fort Lauderdale – in retrospect there was so much eye clutter in bill boards journeying from WV to Florida. Having lived in the beautiful Northwest since 1978 Continue reading “Happy Fourth!”

There were many sayings in my early AA years that I heard over and over until I really heard them. This is the difference between listening and hearing. In my impatience and ignorance, I often cut people and quit listening, or just be quiet but really don’t “hear.” In my graduate studies, I studied various therapies and the one that improved my own attention was that of the therapy developed by Carl Rogers called the “Rogerian Reflection”, which was both hearing the words and the underlying feeling behind the words and reflecting back what they were feeling rather than what they said.

Continue reading ““Reflection/noitcelfeR””