Healing the Shame

So much gratitude for all of the wishes for my belly button birthday of thirty eight ears old.  Or is it 83?

My morning journaling:

“healing the shame that binds me” is taking the first step of the 12.  I am powerless over people, places and things, and of my own devices, I am headed for a self imposed hell.  The promises of AA are much like the treasures gained in silence.  My beast and my beauty are my wild woman/iron john nature, with is indigenous belief that Nature is god’s dancing with goddess – equal.  Our wild nature is our salvation.  Out beyond the good/bad, right/wrong, win/lose and desire, pride and ignorance.  If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will realize our rewards are gratitude expressed by these gifts of life we/I am given.  drum making has taught me much – to cherish each drum I make, knowing there is a place for all in the circle.  Banishment is our worst fear – the excommunication of our holy nature.  No one outside of me can find my value – and I know that creator wants me to sing and dance, and to walk in balance of my lightness and my shadow.  Talking about is fruitless folly – speaking from is the grail – a poet or an artist comes the closest – or the muses.  Laughter is the best medicine.  Holding your fire allows it to transform into noble passion and an appreciation for art and music, good food and good friends.  I both create and use my drums, for if I don’t use my gifts, they dry up and waste away.,, for if the hollow bone or sacred isn’t used, I end up running my life once more.  Loving or “patricking” is manifesting my own essence.  prayer is asking. Meditation is listening.  And opens the gates of wisdom, which is by far the road less traveled. the happy, joyous and free life that can both laugh and cry and wash away my pain. Letting go absolutely of all attachments.   Trust Creator, clean my own house and do what I love – making drums and circulating them around our planet.


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