Fire to Earth – my morning thoughts:

A perfect bridge hand is seven no-trump. 

4-11-25 – on a pink moon.  Read Michael Murphy’s book “Golf in the Kingdom”.  Can we expose the ones at the top through radical honesty and transparency.  Watch Mr. Trump play a round of golf – calling each shot and noticing his walk verses his talk.  Wealthy used to evolve their wealth into philanthropy – giving while alive rather than waiting till I croak.  Frogs are the best croakers.  My father was “Froggy Pinson” and he loved to sing. 

The rule of gold and the ones who have “inside information” like politicians.  Scrooge McDuck, Smaug or other symbols of dragon.  The fire is the east – evolving into generosity.  This is the love of humankind.  Circulation is deer medicine.  Freely give and freely receive.  Does Mr Trump listen?  Tell the truth without blame or judgment is the way of the warrior.  Only through surrender am I saved from suffering.  AA taught me it is only through surrender that I find the portal to the other side – the mystery.  That is my atrophied side – my left.  Perfect balance is both and.  Right and left – speaking and listening. 

Workshops begin with creating a talking stick.  Then to break up and choose a partner that you didn’t come with.

Drums, rattles and flutes.  Brent Haines, JP Gomez and others that make 4,000-$10,000 flutes. 

You can go to the ocean with a bucket or a teaspoon, and the ocean doesn’t care.

My father’s god was wealth and he achieved that goal, and loved Lawrence Welk.  He was real and authentic along with his brother Don.  They were true till the end – I was present at Dons funeral – he was my angel who saw as Elieen Caddy did – see the spark of light in all you meet and focus on only that – love the unlovable.  The sun shines on darkness – our dark sides are our dark bundles.  Light bundles and dark bundles.  What is your medicine?

philanthropy.  Those words mean the love of humankind.  The very ones who “outsourced” our labor are attempting to get back into the henhouse.  Read “The fantastic Mr. Fox” by Rold Dahl.  Bogus, Bunce and Bean.

“Don’t allow a hungry dog to guard the smokehouse”.

Where are the philanthropists?  Berkshire Hathaway – The rich should be taxed – Robin Hood robbed from the rich and gave to the poor – he had learned the art of archery.  Wealthy are the slowest to pay – the poor are the most generous.  My Grandma Pratt loved to watch wrestling, and believed it was  real.  My father would have “coldcocked” Mr. Trump – you find the biggest bully and hit them first.  The current situation is another reflection of “The Wizard of OZ”. 

The golden rule is the Christian way – Jesus Christ Superstar and “I don’t know how to love him”.

My reply:  If you did know, how?  How would you love me.  Or the one in the mirror as per Louis Carroll – “Through the Looking Glass”  Loving is tending to what we hold as sacred.  When I start with me and non-attachment. 

Honor thy father and mother – two aspects of a whole.  The divide and conquer is “the art of war”.  Listen closely to language – and how much combat is woven into the English language – everything needs to be put in a box.  In indigenous language or “speaking in tongues” need no education.  The “rapture” is the shapeshifter – as we have Bigfoot guarding our sacred Heartspace –   Give until it feels good, not till it hurts.

Aunt Gussy, Aunt Eula – John Pratt of the N&W railroad.  He had a cow named Betsy.  He raised bees, chickens, hogs and angus beef where we treat life with kindness.  The song “try a little kindness

There are two ways around a circle – the left and the right – and they bothcome out at the same place.  I go both ways, and my lefting practice is slowly trusting myself to remain steadfastly true to what I know rather than what I believe – and when these two are aligned, magic happens.

“I wonder what the king is doing tonight”

In forgiving myself I am forgiven and by forgiving you, I am forgiven.  Both and

In my fifty years of alcohol free living and a good foundation in many years of Big Book of AA big book discussionand Step meetings. My wise sponsor suggested I cut the “discussion meetings” and attend only step meetings based on “Twelve Steps and 12 Traditions”. I carry those early learnings which seem to be the cornerstones of a happy, joyous and free life.

This morning, I went out to greet the morning in my hot tub – I soaked until my body absorbed the heat and got out and left the lid to the hot tub up…. and 45 minutes later, I re-entered at seven a.m. I placed a hummingbird feeder facing the west direction and on the roof of my neighbor business to my west. they erected an image of Tarus the bull on their flat roof. The second entry into the warm waters, I was greeted by a hummingbird. My name pinson means little bird. The AIR messangers come from my neighboring business which is the west direction crows, raptors and hummers. The animals of the element the air – seagull, the condor/eagle, the hawk, falcoln osprey, the owl of the west and the creatures of the upper world.

In my many years of AA meetings, I heard certain things that still resonate – one is about the two sins. What are the greatest sins?  Interfering with another’s evolution or my own evolution.  We are spiritual beings in a human experience.  I am Patrick.  I am the light and I am the dark.  I am the spiral, the triangle, the circle the square and the cross.  Those five symbols are the structure of the all that is.

I have had the rare treasure of having actualized my potential to at least so much more than I once was.  I am not the man I want to be but thank spirit I am not the man I used to be.  I have created many drums in my latter years on this planet, and but for the grace of God, may I create many more.  I will soon turn 85 years young.  I have walked through many winters, and I am grateful that I have this day to be thankful for.  Today I seem to be on track.  Tracking is an ancient art, whether tracking an animal or tracking a ball in table tennis, I have sharpened my skills. 

     Sometimes I feel off track, lethargic and stuck.  That usually happens when I have procrastinated taking care of my affairs and the ones that I care about.  Today, I feel a bit more centered.  Deena Speer, in her personal work with me and my daughter has helped me learn to “zip up”.  There is a place in each one of us where there is perfect peace.  Often when we are in another’s vibrational field, we lose our own centeredness and feel off balance.  Zipping up is the process of staying in my own field while honoring the other.  From My own center and stillness, I can allow my breath to move me.   When I was a boy my dad bought a small home in Jupiter Florida where I attended kindergarten and first grade.  My mother and her mother, my grandma and my dad’s dad, my grandpa lived there also.  I remember the hurricanes where the children were herded to the schoolhouse basement.  We waited for the fury of mother nature to pass.  I remember the eye of the hurricane as the storm moved through the small town.  There was a wonderful stillness in that eye, and yet that stillness was only temporary.   I thank the spirits for this gift of the breath of life.  Tracking and breathing are what I teach and practice each day.  When I forget, I become dis-membered.  Then I have to re-member.  There is no teaching that you don’t already know.  I might say something to re-mind you of what you deeply know.  What resonates with your truth?  Truth isn’t “opinion”, truth is a resonance.  I make drums.  Drums resonate.  you.  The drum is the heartbeat of my sacred mother earth and my teacher.  When I can calm the mad monkey of the mind, I can return to that quiet place within where there is peace.  In shamanism, the job of the healer is to re-connect each day to my Chi, Ki or center, as so many are caught up in the turbulence.  Drums, rattles and flutes help me remain sane.

Recovery from my addictive nature

Recovery to a state of grace, humility and music

One thing I learned in recovery is that resentments need daily feeding to exist.  When I cease feeding them, they dissolve.

Resentments go away unless I feed the “black wolf”  This is another definition of FEAR, or false evidence appearing real.  Gratitude feeds the White Wolf.  Each day, I see as an opportunity to leave the world a bit better than I found it.  Manifesting my essence is to “bloom where I am planted”.  A tree does not long to be a rock, rather actualize their potential.  My mad monkey mind throws me into doing.   The perfect balance of do/be is sanity.

Now that I am enough, have enough to eat today, I can be happy and sing like the little bird that is my name, Pinson.  In French, it means small bird.

The winged ones are oft called angels.  The Eagle/Condor prophies are here – the truth will set me free.  Shame keeps me holding on for dear death.  John Bradshaw wrote a book “Healing the shame that binds you”.  This precluded my delving into my shadow, or “hidden” side, which I released in step five – admitted to myself, spirit and another human being the exact nature of my barriers to aliveness.  My first spiritual experience was that confession to my sponsor of the deep shame I graded, prohibiting my true nature to emerge from the underworld.  Gratitude is the grail.  Led by acceptance and courage.  When I exposed my deep dark secrets, I felt a new freedom from fear.   Reading on co-dependency  Pia Melody reminded me that shame is the source of spirituality.  I made many “mistakes”, or as I learned in archery, “missed the mark”.  I sinned, so I “repent” or correct my course.

When I leave the technology and venture into the shadow – cessation –the work of the west. The east/west road is the black wolf-thinking and feeling – both of these working and playing together. This is sanity.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference“

The Autumn Equinox – fall – the going within time. testing of the will

Entitlements are a joke – promises are real.  Into action.  When I use the 12 steps and medicine wheel to guide me, I can discern fact from fiction. At least more now than yesterday. The gifts of the medicine wheel and working the steps and earning the gifts of the west direction and the promises of recovering – first from, and then to a mostly happy, joyous and free life.  I feel gratitude and practice giving – this is service, comfortable with being alone with myself, Being both playful, productive, knowledgeable and Wise.  Mingo people had a Ceremony called “going into the silence “– being in nature until you remembered you are nature.  This going within season earns silence and the most precious gift of humility.  I am taking loving care of myself, and providing drums, rattles and flutes for our global family.  When my wife comes to visit, my joy is doubled.  Loyalty is a dog quality.  Independence is a cat quality.  BOTH AND

Cats are independent and dogs are interdependent.  They are two energies that I found by walking around the wheel for now going on 84 years.  Of the fourfold way, each number and letter, each footprint can lead me to track.  Tracking is a Toltec practice – the ability to stay “on track”  Writing and Lefting help me balance the “time is art” with the “time is money””.  To time is now.  The great spirit is non-progressive. Nowhere to get to.  What keeps you running?  Who runs your running?.

The great spirit of indigenous cultures know that they are nature – of our sacred mother earth.  The drum grounds me.  The flute inspires me.  My name Pinson in Basque is “little bird”.  The air is the flute – the “breath of life”.  In my years of facilitating men’s drum circles, I found my rhythm, which is alive and changes each moment – each breath.

My 12 step work is with Cedar Mountain Drums, aka PatrickPinson/Mandi Riley productions.  The first affirmation is “I am the first and last of my nation”.  Remembering.  This is recovery to – and leads to the “eye of the needle”, where my perfectionism, need to know, focusing on whats not working in my life along with my intensity.  I am a king, warrior, lover and magician.  My right side is a visionary – to see or not to see.  By tracking a ball in flight and making conscious contact.  The promises come to those willing to clean up the wreckage of the past and to create no new wreckage.  This can be people pleasing or “always doing my best”.  Justifying and explaining are defensive mechanisms. The sacred needs no defending as the shadows only appear when I turn away from the light.

Bear Creek Heartspace ideas

Self-Publishing music and writings or books – printed on hemp paper 

A church in the round by Peters Point  with sound healing, talking circles, drum and flute circles co-creating magic!  Tipis, yurts.  Worker bees.  Guard dogs – a grandmother drum suspended in the atrium that sends healing vibrations to those below -six foot gongs, drums, sound healing,, guitar, piano

A theater in the round. Pshychodrama – connecting with our dreams and creating theater with them.

The Winter solstice sweat – he snow queen – tractors to clear the snow – bed and breakfast round house. Coffee shop/cafe five star rated – live music.

Some songs sing me – this morning in my hot tub, a little bird flew close to me.   In my basque/french name, Pinson is Little bird.

This was Saint Francis who we use in our eleventh step which we seek through prayer and meditation to be an instrument – Creator, make me an instrument of your peace.  Play me like a flute – a hollow bone.

The South or summer solstice is being all I can be – naked and unafraid

The people are at the top of the inverted pyramid.  In AA, we have trusted servants rather than politicians.  Mingo people sat between the mother/father energies.  All journey’s begin with an identification of where I am, or in drum making the first hole I put in the circle. I started with Goddess/God – I can’t, God/Goddess/ Godding can and I will follow my heart.  The god I worship is both and – my warrior and my healer, my lover and my intellect.  .  My lover is my healer – In Moore/Bly/Hillman the four are King, Warrior, Lover and Magician.  A balance of dark and light bundles.  I am omnisexual.  Sex is a mystery I will never understand – I know I look deeper now than when I was ten years younger.  How I define beauty has shifted – seeing beyond the surface and facades. Looking deeply into the eyes is the seer.  Many look, yet don’t see.   Same as hearing – this is deep listening from the heart.  I can tell the guarded in how others hug me, most holding their butts away from contact.  The predatory/prey goes into the dark bundles which are created together with the light bundles.,   Love the one I am with – me.  Self-love needs no guards – real and authentic.

Shiva could return Shakti or reflect

death mother’s gaze, thus the kundalini energy  in its balanced masculine/feminine energies starts at the seat of the soul – with low C  The wild man and wolf women – the didgeridoo, the base, the root.  May brings on the may pole, which we dance around.  May is about grace and gratitude.  Crisis management is everywhere – some giving up hope, others like me, found that hitting bottom or “bedrock” was an excellent place to build from.  I am a fisherman.  I used to fish in bathtubs, but later realized those waters had no fish.  If you go to

catch, it isn’t balance.  I go to fish, as I am all about presentation.  How can I awaken my true nature – where time disappears and once again I see that I am enough, and fly fishing is my religion.  Some wannabes flog the water, I stalk the Wiley trout.  I just sit by the stream for a spell, then flip my hand tied fly into the waters.  Butch and I used to go fishing on Oregon’s Metolius River deep in the ponderosa pines – I went to fish and allow the space in nature to be enchanted and have no agreements – time disappeared.

A fisher of souls – loving the unlovable.

 

“if you want what I/we have, and are willing to go to any length to get it…..then you are ready to TAKE THE FIRST STEP: I am powerless over my addictions and my life is unmanageable.   I ADMITTED TO ME, YOU AND SPIRIT THE EXACT NATURE OF MY SINS.  This is the simple first three steps:  Trust spirit, clean house and do what you love.

The yin is acceptance – the yang is “into action”.  I pray for potatoes and grab a hoe.  Eliminate “I want” as wanting leaves me wanting and “I need to” and transform into will – Creator leads the willing and drags the reluctant.  .  These are the feeders of guilt and shame.

Some songs sing me – this morning in my hot tub, a little bird flew close to me.  This was Saint Francis who we use in our eleventh step – Creator, make me an instrument of your peace.  Play me like a flute – a hollow bone.

The people are at the top of the inverted pyramid.  I started with God – I can’t God can and I will follow that vital sixth sense – my heart.  The god I worship is both and – my warrior and my healer, my lover and my intellect.  .  My lover is my healer – In my teachers Moore/Bly/Hillman the four are King, Warrior, Lover and Magician.  A balance of dark and light bundles.  I am omni-sexual.  Sex is a mystery I will never understand – I know I look deeper now than when I was ten years younger.  How I define beauty has shifted – seeing beyond the surface and facades.  I can tell the guarded in how women hug me, most holding their butts away from contact.    I carry my wounds in my body and in Light/dark bundles, The slut goes into the dark bundle, as do the predator and the prey.  Love the one I am with – me.  Self love needs no guards – real and authentic.

Shiva could return Shakti and death mother’s gaze, thus the kundalini energy the entwined snakes up our spines  as masculine/feminine energies starts at the seat of the soul – with low C  The wild man and wolf women – the didgeridoo, the base, the root.  May brings on the may pole, which we dance around.  May is about grace and gratitude.  Crisis management everywhere – some giving up hope, others like my bottom was an excellent place to build from.  I am a fisherman.  I used to fish in bathtubs, but later realized those waters had no fish.  If you go to catch, it isn’t balance.  I go to fish, as I am all about presentation.  How can I awaken my true nature – where time disappears and once again I see that I am enough, and fly fishing is my religion.  Some wannabes flog the water, I stalk the Wiley trout.  I just sit by the stream for a spell, then flip my hand tied fly into the waters.  My relitives and I used to go fly fishing on Oregon’s Metolius River deep in the ponderosa pines – I went to fish and allow the space in nature to be enchanted and have no agreements – time disappeared.

A fisher of souls – loving the unlovable.

4/23/24

Tomorrow is 42424 and that equals 16.  There are 16 holes punched in our drums.

Enough

I am filled.  I am overflowing, which must be the art of circulation.  I am enough, I have enough, and I have broken the first spell, which is “there’s not enough”.

This is a spell.  It takes a witch or warlock to break a spell.  The irish have a charm for luck.  The four-leaf clover.  Spell number two is “more is better” which many are stuck on.  Being “stuck” means flow is blocked.  God Dammit is another way of stopping flow.

I pray for ease and grace like bear creek.

That creek both sings to me and just keeps flowing around the rocks, going back to mother ocean. and the trees sway in the breezes and gusts – the air, the fire, the earth, and the water – all equally balanced.  I noticed I changed fonts.  How do you like this font?

Gratitude and thanksgiving and sharing what I have with the ripe. – investing my time, talent, and treasures into what and who I believe in.  I have to be with someone prior to knowing them, and they change when healthy.  This is changing woman or a rolling stone, which gathers no moss.  All there is – is change.  When I have expectations, they are planned resentments, and resentments, unless released turn into cancer and eat me.  So, what’s eating me and what am I eating.  Garbage in and garbage out.  Good food, good friends, and good music.  Gayle Highpine wrote an article entitled “The non-progressive Great Spirit”.  My point of power is most always now.  There is nowhere to get to – I am enough.

Patrick’s unpublished blogs – Nature’s Laws

Gravity and levity are a dance.  Gravity pulls me down into the earth.  Letting go to my mother earth – the ground.  Levity lifts me as an eagle, out of the despair into the vibration of joy and happiness. Continue reading “Blog fodder and Natures laws”

January Prayer – May we appreciate and remember today this food and remember those who are hungry.  May we appreciate our family and friends and remember those who are alone.  May we appreciate our health and remember those who are sick.  May we appreciate the freedoms we have and 1remember those who suffer injustice and tyranny.  Peace on Earth. – A Buddhist Blessing for Food.

Soul loss stems from child abuse, and we are all from the scar clan – the brighter the light, the deeper the shadow.  The balance of be/do.  The important lesson of solitude, which January has taught me – I am being with living my life and following my destiny.  I have been alone since November relearning how to take loving care of myself, and to keep adjusting my attitude from hopelessness to what has heart and meaning.  Acceptance and willingness are the two keys out of the bondage of self.  Elder hood is seeing the world as it is, not how I “want” it to be.  Self love is the key – remembering that I am of the earth – holy, and to see the world with the clarity of the eagle, the wisdom of the buffalo, the humor of clown of the south and the introspection of the west – the bear.  Walking in balance is seeking the middle and avoiding the extremes of good/bad, right/wrong, win/lose and all or nothing thinking.  I am starting my “in person” seven week class on the “Teachings of the 12 steps and the Red Road – Winter to spring. ” on February 1st, Thursday evenings from 7 p.m. – till 8:30p.m.  The seven week class leads in to our spring equinox sweat lodge.  Ceremony is 90% preparation.

January is a time to reflect on the past and glean those gifts that bring us into the new year –  the snow queen who sees only death and destruction.  Stinking thinking is tracking my thoughts and “repenting” or correcting my course each day which is the only thing I have choice – following what has hear

my class is open to 12 “in person” participants.  For two years, I have been using Zoom, which in its own way has been a teacher, but zoom lacks the person to person contact which only comes from the willingness to go to any length, and suit up and show up.   Spring brings us hope of the never ending cycles of birth, death and rebirth – what am I creating today?  The creative fires of the east – each day a new beginning – each breath I take in Love and breath out fear.  Maybe make this a podcast with help from my tech community.

 

So much gratitude for all of the wishes for my belly button birthday of thirty eight ears old.  Or is it 83?

My morning journaling:

“healing the shame that binds me” is taking the first step of the 12.  I am powerless over people, places and things, and of my own devices, I am headed for a self imposed hell.  The promises of AA are much like the treasures gained in silence.  My beast and my beauty are my wild woman/iron john nature, with is indigenous belief that Nature is god’s dancing with goddess – equal.  Our wild nature is our salvation.  Out beyond the good/bad, right/wrong, win/lose and desire, pride and ignorance.  If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will realize our rewards are gratitude expressed by these gifts of life we/I am given.  drum making has taught me much – to cherish each drum I make, knowing there is a place for all in the circle.  Banishment is our worst fear – the excommunication of our holy nature.  No one outside of me can find my value – and I know that creator wants me to sing and dance, and to walk in balance of my lightness and my shadow.  Talking about is fruitless folly – speaking from is the grail – a poet or an artist comes the closest – or the muses.  Laughter is the best medicine.  Holding your fire allows it to transform into noble passion and an appreciation for art and music, good food and good friends.  I both create and use my drums, for if I don’t use my gifts, they dry up and waste away.,, for if the hollow bone or sacred isn’t used, I end up running my life once more.  Loving or “patricking” is manifesting my own essence.  prayer is asking. Meditation is listening.  And opens the gates of wisdom, which is by far the road less traveled. the happy, joyous and free life that can both laugh and cry and wash away my pain. Letting go absolutely of all attachments.   Trust Creator, clean my own house and do what I love – making drums and circulating them around our planet.