Back in the 1980’s was my transformation from

the rule of gold into the golden rule. 12 step recovery began in the mid 1970’s and I am coming up on 49 years without my isms. My “devilish” alcoholic insanity took me to the road “down and out”. No one knows except those brothers and sisters in recovery – which is a process rather than a destination. Recovery is like religion – start with the fundamentals which are simple. If you don’t take the first drink, you are arrested from this seemingly hopeless state. Do what I love and everything will be added. This is the “discipline” my father wanted to instill in me. Chop wood and carry water is each day lived with presence. To thy own self be true is the walk around the wheel of wholeness. In my practice of gestalt therapy and early drum making years, I learned that preparing the hide with prayer, baptizing it in the waters of bear creek or my containers and making drums. The drum is my heart and the more I give away, the more comes in. This is the “secret” held by covert organizations, that in “passing it on”, we retain. When self centered fear creeps in, we/I create poverty consciousness. “What if” is the fodder for worry and nothing real is ever threatened. We love children, for they are animated. Childlike presence is what Jesus spoke of by telling us we must become as children – childlike rather than childish. AA’s seventh step involves recognizing self centered fear as the “spider” when I get caught in the web of perfectionism, procrastination and straying from the mark (the addiction to what’s not working rather than “keeping my eye on the prize”). What is the mark? Sinning is missing the mark. I was the one who cared too much, also known as co-dependence. A classic definition of co-dependents is taking hostages rather than having relationships. And putting others needs above my own. Then I heard an old timer say that when he remembers to take care of himself, all else falls into place. Another old timer said it in a story he told about trying to change the things he couldn’t, which bears no fruit. The steps and my willingness to apply the principals in all of my affairs are the fruits of my labor. The “into action” steps of steps four through nine is the path to ease and grace. -the action steps. If we are stuck, we are taking space, and wanting compensation for “occupying space”. Most betrayal comes out of self-betrayal. Through my 12 years of hearing the steps over and over, the words worked their way into my defenses and shame based presence. The simple words that I am a spiritual being in a human experience. I made “mistakes” but I was not a mistake. The path to self esteem is moose medicine – holding myself in my kindness and gratitude – the gifts of the west direction. I am so many blessings to be thankful for, and I find myself and others looking at what isn’t working rather than “keep your eye on the prize”. The simple task of “tracking” a ball while singing a song is a state of relaxed concentration. Grace comes when the mind is disinterested. In seeking, I create the barrier.
In my week long gatherings   a balance of work, play, worship and supported as well as supporting.  In our one week class, you leave with a drum, rattle and their use.  Soon will be added flutemaking – the air, the winds and the flute – the father. The drum is my mother -The flute is the “hollow bone” we create when we “stay in my hoop”. When I stray, I take your inventory. When I return to center, I regain my clarity of intent. What is center? Chi, ki or the universal life force that magnifies my own light many-fold. This is Charisma, which is the seventh house of the seven directions.