“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference“

The Autumn Equinox – fall – the going within time. testing of the will

Entitlements are a joke – promises are real.  Into action.  When I use the 12 steps and medicine wheel to guide me, I can discern fact from fiction. At least more now than yesterday. The gifts of the medicine wheel and working the steps and earning the gifts of the west direction and the promises of recovering – first from, and then to a mostly happy, joyous and free life.  I feel gratitude and practice giving – this is service, comfortable with being alone with myself, Being both playful, productive, knowledgeable and Wise.  Mingo people had a Ceremony called “going into the silence “– being in nature until you remembered you are nature.  This going within season earns silence and the most precious gift of humility.  I am taking loving care of myself, and providing drums, rattles and flutes for our global family.  When my wife comes to visit, my joy is doubled.  Loyalty is a dog quality.  Independence is a cat quality.  BOTH AND

Cats are independent and dogs are interdependent.  They are two energies that I found by walking around the wheel for now going on 84 years.  Of the fourfold way, each number and letter, each footprint can lead me to track.  Tracking is a Toltec practice – the ability to stay “on track”  Writing and Lefting help me balance the “time is art” with the “time is money””.  To time is now.  The great spirit is non-progressive. Nowhere to get to.  What keeps you running?  Who runs your running?.

The great spirit of indigenous cultures know that they are nature – of our sacred mother earth.  The drum grounds me.  The flute inspires me.  My name Pinson in Basque is “little bird”.  The air is the flute – the “breath of life”.  In my years of facilitating men’s drum circles, I found my rhythm, which is alive and changes each moment – each breath.

My 12 step work is with Cedar Mountain Drums, aka PatrickPinson/Mandi Riley productions.  The first affirmation is “I am the first and last of my nation”.  Remembering.  This is recovery to – and leads to the “eye of the needle”, where my perfectionism, need to know, focusing on whats not working in my life along with my intensity.  I am a king, warrior, lover and magician.  My right side is a visionary – to see or not to see.  By tracking a ball in flight and making conscious contact.  The promises come to those willing to clean up the wreckage of the past and to create no new wreckage.  This can be people pleasing or “always doing my best”.  Justifying and explaining are defensive mechanisms. The sacred needs no defending as the shadows only appear when I turn away from the light.

Bear Creek Heartspace ideas

Self-Publishing music and writings or books – printed on hemp paper 

A church in the round by Peters Point  with sound healing, talking circles, drum and flute circles co-creating magic!  Tipis, yurts.  Worker bees.  Guard dogs – a grandmother drum suspended in the atrium that sends healing vibrations to those below -six foot gongs, drums, sound healing,, guitar, piano

A theater in the round. Pshychodrama – connecting with our dreams and creating theater with them.

The Winter solstice sweat – he snow queen – tractors to clear the snow – bed and breakfast round house. Coffee shop/cafe five star rated – live music.

Some songs sing me – this morning in my hot tub, a little bird flew close to me.   In my basque/french name, Pinson is Little bird.

This was Saint Francis who we use in our eleventh step which we seek through prayer and meditation to be an instrument – Creator, make me an instrument of your peace.  Play me like a flute – a hollow bone.

The South or summer solstice is being all I can be – naked and unafraid

The people are at the top of the inverted pyramid.  In AA, we have trusted servants rather than politicians.  Mingo people sat between the mother/father energies.  All journey’s begin with an identification of where I am, or in drum making the first hole I put in the circle. I started with Goddess/God – I can’t, God/Goddess/ Godding can and I will follow my heart.  The god I worship is both and – my warrior and my healer, my lover and my intellect.  .  My lover is my healer – In Moore/Bly/Hillman the four are King, Warrior, Lover and Magician.  A balance of dark and light bundles.  I am omnisexual.  Sex is a mystery I will never understand – I know I look deeper now than when I was ten years younger.  How I define beauty has shifted – seeing beyond the surface and facades. Looking deeply into the eyes is the seer.  Many look, yet don’t see.   Same as hearing – this is deep listening from the heart.  I can tell the guarded in how others hug me, most holding their butts away from contact.  The predatory/prey goes into the dark bundles which are created together with the light bundles.,   Love the one I am with – me.  Self-love needs no guards – real and authentic.

Shiva could return Shakti or reflect

death mother’s gaze, thus the kundalini energy  in its balanced masculine/feminine energies starts at the seat of the soul – with low C  The wild man and wolf women – the didgeridoo, the base, the root.  May brings on the may pole, which we dance around.  May is about grace and gratitude.  Crisis management is everywhere – some giving up hope, others like me, found that hitting bottom or “bedrock” was an excellent place to build from.  I am a fisherman.  I used to fish in bathtubs, but later realized those waters had no fish.  If you go to

catch, it isn’t balance.  I go to fish, as I am all about presentation.  How can I awaken my true nature – where time disappears and once again I see that I am enough, and fly fishing is my religion.  Some wannabes flog the water, I stalk the Wiley trout.  I just sit by the stream for a spell, then flip my hand tied fly into the waters.  Butch and I used to go fishing on Oregon’s Metolius River deep in the ponderosa pines – I went to fish and allow the space in nature to be enchanted and have no agreements – time disappeared.

A fisher of souls – loving the unlovable.

 

“if you want what I/we have, and are willing to go to any length to get it…..then you are ready to TAKE THE FIRST STEP: I am powerless over my addictions and my life is unmanageable.   I ADMITTED TO ME, YOU AND SPIRIT THE EXACT NATURE OF MY SINS.  This is the simple first three steps:  Trust spirit, clean house and do what you love.

The yin is acceptance – the yang is “into action”.  I pray for potatoes and grab a hoe.  Eliminate “I want” as wanting leaves me wanting and “I need to” and transform into will – Creator leads the willing and drags the reluctant.  .  These are the feeders of guilt and shame.

Some songs sing me – this morning in my hot tub, a little bird flew close to me.  This was Saint Francis who we use in our eleventh step – Creator, make me an instrument of your peace.  Play me like a flute – a hollow bone.

The people are at the top of the inverted pyramid.  I started with God – I can’t God can and I will follow that vital sixth sense – my heart.  The god I worship is both and – my warrior and my healer, my lover and my intellect.  .  My lover is my healer – In my teachers Moore/Bly/Hillman the four are King, Warrior, Lover and Magician.  A balance of dark and light bundles.  I am omni-sexual.  Sex is a mystery I will never understand – I know I look deeper now than when I was ten years younger.  How I define beauty has shifted – seeing beyond the surface and facades.  I can tell the guarded in how women hug me, most holding their butts away from contact.    I carry my wounds in my body and in Light/dark bundles, The slut goes into the dark bundle, as do the predator and the prey.  Love the one I am with – me.  Self love needs no guards – real and authentic.

Shiva could return Shakti and death mother’s gaze, thus the kundalini energy the entwined snakes up our spines  as masculine/feminine energies starts at the seat of the soul – with low C  The wild man and wolf women – the didgeridoo, the base, the root.  May brings on the may pole, which we dance around.  May is about grace and gratitude.  Crisis management everywhere – some giving up hope, others like my bottom was an excellent place to build from.  I am a fisherman.  I used to fish in bathtubs, but later realized those waters had no fish.  If you go to catch, it isn’t balance.  I go to fish, as I am all about presentation.  How can I awaken my true nature – where time disappears and once again I see that I am enough, and fly fishing is my religion.  Some wannabes flog the water, I stalk the Wiley trout.  I just sit by the stream for a spell, then flip my hand tied fly into the waters.  My relitives and I used to go fly fishing on Oregon’s Metolius River deep in the ponderosa pines – I went to fish and allow the space in nature to be enchanted and have no agreements – time disappeared.

A fisher of souls – loving the unlovable.

4/23/24

Tomorrow is 42424 and that equals 16.  There are 16 holes punched in our drums.

Enough

I am filled.  I am overflowing, which must be the art of circulation.  I am enough, I have enough, and I have broken the first spell, which is “there’s not enough”.

This is a spell.  It takes a witch or warlock to break a spell.  The irish have a charm for luck.  The four-leaf clover.  Spell number two is “more is better” which many are stuck on.  Being “stuck” means flow is blocked.  God Dammit is another way of stopping flow.

I pray for ease and grace like bear creek.

That creek both sings to me and just keeps flowing around the rocks, going back to mother ocean. and the trees sway in the breezes and gusts – the air, the fire, the earth, and the water – all equally balanced.  I noticed I changed fonts.  How do you like this font?

Gratitude and thanksgiving and sharing what I have with the ripe. – investing my time, talent, and treasures into what and who I believe in.  I have to be with someone prior to knowing them, and they change when healthy.  This is changing woman or a rolling stone, which gathers no moss.  All there is – is change.  When I have expectations, they are planned resentments, and resentments, unless released turn into cancer and eat me.  So, what’s eating me and what am I eating.  Garbage in and garbage out.  Good food, good friends, and good music.  Gayle Highpine wrote an article entitled “The non-progressive Great Spirit”.  My point of power is most always now.  There is nowhere to get to – I am enough.

Patrick’s unpublished blogs – Nature’s Laws

Gravity and levity are a dance.  Gravity pulls me down into the earth.  Letting go to my mother earth – the ground.  Levity lifts me as an eagle, out of the despair into the vibration of joy and happiness. Continue reading “Blog fodder and Natures laws”

January Prayer – May we appreciate and remember today this food and remember those who are hungry.  May we appreciate our family and friends and remember those who are alone.  May we appreciate our health and remember those who are sick.  May we appreciate the freedoms we have and 1remember those who suffer injustice and tyranny.  Peace on Earth. – A Buddhist Blessing for Food.

Soul loss stems from child abuse, and we are all from the scar clan – the brighter the light, the deeper the shadow.  The balance of be/do.  The important lesson of solitude, which January has taught me – I am being with living my life and following my destiny.  I have been alone since November relearning how to take loving care of myself, and to keep adjusting my attitude from hopelessness to what has heart and meaning.  Acceptance and willingness are the two keys out of the bondage of self.  Elder hood is seeing the world as it is, not how I “want” it to be.  Self love is the key – remembering that I am of the earth – holy, and to see the world with the clarity of the eagle, the wisdom of the buffalo, the humor of clown of the south and the introspection of the west – the bear.  Walking in balance is seeking the middle and avoiding the extremes of good/bad, right/wrong, win/lose and all or nothing thinking.  I am starting my “in person” seven week class on the “Teachings of the 12 steps and the Red Road – Winter to spring. ” on February 1st, Thursday evenings from 7 p.m. – till 8:30p.m.  The seven week class leads in to our spring equinox sweat lodge.  Ceremony is 90% preparation.

January is a time to reflect on the past and glean those gifts that bring us into the new year –  the snow queen who sees only death and destruction.  Stinking thinking is tracking my thoughts and “repenting” or correcting my course each day which is the only thing I have choice – following what has hear

my class is open to 12 “in person” participants.  For two years, I have been using Zoom, which in its own way has been a teacher, but zoom lacks the person to person contact which only comes from the willingness to go to any length, and suit up and show up.   Spring brings us hope of the never ending cycles of birth, death and rebirth – what am I creating today?  The creative fires of the east – each day a new beginning – each breath I take in Love and breath out fear.  Maybe make this a podcast with help from my tech community.

 

So much gratitude for all of the wishes for my belly button birthday of thirty eight ears old.  Or is it 83?

My morning journaling:

“healing the shame that binds me” is taking the first step of the 12.  I am powerless over people, places and things, and of my own devices, I am headed for a self imposed hell.  The promises of AA are much like the treasures gained in silence.  My beast and my beauty are my wild woman/iron john nature, with is indigenous belief that Nature is god’s dancing with goddess – equal.  Our wild nature is our salvation.  Out beyond the good/bad, right/wrong, win/lose and desire, pride and ignorance.  If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will realize our rewards are gratitude expressed by these gifts of life we/I am given.  drum making has taught me much – to cherish each drum I make, knowing there is a place for all in the circle.  Banishment is our worst fear – the excommunication of our holy nature.  No one outside of me can find my value – and I know that creator wants me to sing and dance, and to walk in balance of my lightness and my shadow.  Talking about is fruitless folly – speaking from is the grail – a poet or an artist comes the closest – or the muses.  Laughter is the best medicine.  Holding your fire allows it to transform into noble passion and an appreciation for art and music, good food and good friends.  I both create and use my drums, for if I don’t use my gifts, they dry up and waste away.,, for if the hollow bone or sacred isn’t used, I end up running my life once more.  Loving or “patricking” is manifesting my own essence.  prayer is asking. Meditation is listening.  And opens the gates of wisdom, which is by far the road less traveled. the happy, joyous and free life that can both laugh and cry and wash away my pain. Letting go absolutely of all attachments.   Trust Creator, clean my own house and do what I love – making drums and circulating them around our planet.

 

Everything I teach is borrowed.  The world is full of trickery – everything I say is full of trickery – you are a trickster – Continue reading “Breaking the spells”

Community July ‘10

 

I once heard in a recovery meeting that “if you can put words to it, it is not Spirit”  Oral traditions have been used for teaching for millenniums   Once I attempt to define the indefinable, I create the barrier to the spirit of wh

at I say.  The mind wants to grasp, analyze, calculate, plot, categorize and understand, which is the nature of the mind.  In the ancient wheel, which is based on living in nature, the seasons are constantly changing as is each day, each moment.  Change is the only thing that is constant.  In the ancient “Mystery Schools” the traditions were oral.  What was written would bring you to a certain point, and after that, the teachings were oral.

I learned from the teachings of the wheel that air is north, fire is east, earth is south and What proceeds understanding is Acceptance.  In my early denial, I read a lot of books on alcoholism seeking to understand, and indeed I understood a lot about alcoholism, but – until I accepted that I, left to my own devices,  was an addict/alcoholic, I had no chance of recovery.

In the classes I teach in my home on indigenous wisdoms, the water, the fall, the evening time proceeds the winter, the dream time, the element air, which is understanding.  What that came to mean for me was the importance of acceptance – until I accepted that I was an addict/alcoholic, I had no chance of recovery.  Acceptance is taking in, going within and reflecting on my life as other than a victim of outside circumstances.  In the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a phrase which states acceptance is the key to all of my problems.  There is one more key ingredient for recovery, and that is willingness.  I have to be willing to go to any length to have my disease lifted and later used those two keys in following my destiny.  Spirit leads the willing and drags the reluctant.

 

Story was so important in my childhood.  My Grandfather used to tell us stories on his porch, as he whittled on a stick.  He would make up these stories, and they were always changing.  My father did the same.  When I was in college, he was such a great story teller that my classmates would flock to our home just to hear my fathers stories.  Every time the story was told, it was different.  That made it fresh and new each time.  My own little Jasmine loves my stories, which I make up with and for her as a teaching.  The upcoming class is much about story, a wonderful way to teach as our ancestors did.  Let me know if you have any interest in attending the class.

 

Blessings, Patrick

Back in the 1980’s was my transformation from

the rule of gold into the golden rule. 12 step recovery began in the mid 1970’s and I am coming up on 49 years without my isms. My “devilish” alcoholic insanity took me to the road “down and out”. No one knows Continue reading “South to West – 12 steps and the Red Road – Trust”