May Pondering s

bear creek

“if you want what I/we have, and are willing to go to any length to get it…..then you are ready to TAKE THE FIRST STEP: I am powerless over my addictions and my life is unmanageable.   I ADMITTED TO ME, YOU AND SPIRIT THE EXACT NATURE OF MY SINS.  This is the simple first three steps:  Trust spirit, clean house and do what you love.

The yin is acceptance – the yang is “into action”.  I pray for potatoes and grab a hoe.  Eliminate “I want” as wanting leaves me wanting and “I need to” and transform into will – Creator leads the willing and drags the reluctant.  .  These are the feeders of guilt and shame.

Some songs sing me – this morning in my hot tub, a little bird flew close to me.  This was Saint Francis who we use in our eleventh step – Creator, make me an instrument of your peace.  Play me like a flute – a hollow bone.

The people are at the top of the inverted pyramid.  I started with God – I can’t God can and I will follow that vital sixth sense – my heart.  The god I worship is both and – my warrior and my healer, my lover and my intellect.  .  My lover is my healer – In my teachers Moore/Bly/Hillman the four are King, Warrior, Lover and Magician.  A balance of dark and light bundles.  I am omni-sexual.  Sex is a mystery I will never understand – I know I look deeper now than when I was ten years younger.  How I define beauty has shifted – seeing beyond the surface and facades.  I can tell the guarded in how women hug me, most holding their butts away from contact.    I carry my wounds in my body and in Light/dark bundles, The slut goes into the dark bundle, as do the predator and the prey.  Love the one I am with – me.  Self love needs no guards – real and authentic.

Shiva could return Shakti and death mother’s gaze, thus the kundalini energy the entwined snakes up our spines  as masculine/feminine energies starts at the seat of the soul – with low C  The wild man and wolf women – the didgeridoo, the base, the root.  May brings on the may pole, which we dance around.  May is about grace and gratitude.  Crisis management everywhere – some giving up hope, others like my bottom was an excellent place to build from.  I am a fisherman.  I used to fish in bathtubs, but later realized those waters had no fish.  If you go to catch, it isn’t balance.  I go to fish, as I am all about presentation.  How can I awaken my true nature – where time disappears and once again I see that I am enough, and fly fishing is my religion.  Some wannabes flog the water, I stalk the Wiley trout.  I just sit by the stream for a spell, then flip my hand tied fly into the waters.  My relitives and I used to go fly fishing on Oregon’s Metolius River deep in the ponderosa pines – I went to fish and allow the space in nature to be enchanted and have no agreements – time disappeared.

A fisher of souls – loving the unlovable.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *