“if you want what I/we have, and are willing to go to any length to get it…..then you are ready to TAKE THE FIRST STEP: I am powerless over my addictions and my life is unmanageable. I ADMITTED TO ME, YOU AND SPIRIT THE EXACT NATURE OF MY SINS. This is the simple first three steps: Trust spirit, clean house and do what you love.
The yin is acceptance – the yang is “into action”. I pray for potatoes and grab a hoe. Eliminate “I want” as wanting leaves me wanting and “I need to” and transform into will – Creator leads the willing and drags the reluctant. . These are the feeders of guilt and shame.
Some songs sing me – this morning in my hot tub, a little bird flew close to me. This was Saint Francis who we use in our eleventh step – Creator, make me an instrument of your peace. Play me like a flute – a hollow bone.
The people are at the top of the inverted pyramid. I started with God – I can’t God can and I will follow that vital sixth sense – my heart. The god I worship is both and – my warrior and my healer, my lover and my intellect. . My lover is my healer – In my teachers Moore/Bly/Hillman the four are King, Warrior, Lover and Magician. A balance of dark and light bundles. I am omni-sexual. Sex is a mystery I will never understand – I know I look deeper now than when I was ten years younger. How I define beauty has shifted – seeing beyond the surface and facades. I can tell the guarded in how women hug me, most holding their butts away from contact. I carry my wounds in my body and in Light/dark bundles, The slut goes into the dark bundle, as do the predator and the prey. Love the one I am with – me. Self love needs no guards – real and authentic.
Shiva could return Shakti and death mother’s gaze, thus the kundalini energy the entwined snakes up our spines as masculine/feminine energies starts at the seat of the soul – with low C The wild man and wolf women – the didgeridoo, the base, the root. May brings on the may pole, which we dance around. May is about grace and gratitude. Crisis management everywhere – some giving up hope, others like my bottom was an excellent place to build from. I am a fisherman. I used to fish in bathtubs, but later realized those waters had no fish. If you go to catch, it isn’t balance. I go to fish, as I am all about presentation. How can I awaken my true nature – where time disappears and once again I see that I am enough, and fly fishing is my religion. Some wannabes flog the water, I stalk the Wiley trout. I just sit by the stream for a spell, then flip my hand tied fly into the waters. My relitives and I used to go fly fishing on Oregon’s Metolius River deep in the ponderosa pines – I went to fish and allow the space in nature to be enchanted and have no agreements – time disappeared.
A fisher of souls – loving the unlovable.