Patrick’s unpublished blogs – Nature’s Laws

Gravity and levity are a dance.  Gravity pulls me down into the earth.  Letting go to my mother earth – the ground.  Levity lifts me as an eagle, out of the despair into the vibration of joy and happiness. Laughter releases stress – how we are holding our pain.  My tears are mostly of joy now.  Gratitude is the elixir of trust – trust spirit, clean house and do what you love.  Your heaven or hell are not in some imagined future – I am here now.

My exes held their pain just as I held mine.  To release as feeling the pain in childbirth, or the childlike tenderness of a child, who when hurt or scared, cries.  The tears release the held and relax the child.  When we have unfinished relationships, or have left a “wake” of destruction, there are ways out of the underworld.

One way is AA’s 12 steps.  Mark out alcohol and plug in your addiction.  If you can’t see your addiction, ask the one closest to you that you trust.  If your addiction be negative, then you can re-direct that negative energy into service.  Spiritual alchemy is the yang (male) elixir, and preceded science.   Astrology and science were once one.  Timing is everything.  The church brought in and ritualized the ancient simplicity of confession, restitution and service.

 

The 12 ways out of suffering and  the Buddha nature both require letting go absolutely to the old and a transformation toward wholeness.  I have a few unfinished relationships, yet I have more that are healthy.  I loved all the women I have ever been with, and to love the one you’re with is the greatest joy and that begins and ends with me.  God and Godding – good feeding the white wolf, gold and silver – Loving is caring.  Love tends to ….giving your attention, so it is no wonder that attention or presence is a gift that can only be earned.  Yet when self-love isn’t present, we chase rather than “knowing when to hold and when to fold”.  Stop doing business with Chase.  Seeking creates the barrier.  Discernment is the hawk, the owl, the falcons, and eagle.  They have the keenest vision and scan their territory for things “out of place”.  And then there is commitment.  the predator birds – the kite, falcon, hawk and the eagle and the owl.  The hawk made it safe for my wounded little boy inside to emerge out of the cave where Grandmother bear was holding my heart.  That little one inside didn’t trust that I would take loving care of him.  Through intense body work, a commitment to love the one I am with always, and that is me.

In recovery, the two keys to the happy, joyous and free live lies in our radical acceptance and willingness to go to any length.  This involves releasing self-defeating patterns which we do in our solstice/equinox sweat lodge ceremonies.  Prior to going on the hill to quest for a vision, we must do the “clean up” steps, which are steps four through nine.

Scanning is seeing with soft eyes – out of the relaxing flows ease and grace.  This is the high play of children, prior to the introduction of competition.  When the raptor strikes it’s prey, it scans to see what is out of place, and when that mouse has strayed a bit too far from the safety of its hole, he is chopped liver – dead.  This is will.  I will.  My will.  And there is my won’t.  A very wise man helped me bring that little one out – creating the safe space for play – homo ludens.  What will I do  Thy will coupled with my will.  Will is fire – my eagle nature.  I had to come out of the ashes to resurrect –   They who hesitate are lost.  Will has power – I will commit.  To manifesting my/thy dream.  I was given a vision for the people – not “my” vision, as attachment creates suffering.  The warrior can commit to manifesting their dinner.

I am keeping it simple.  I need coffee prior to food.  Coffee is useful if used and not abused.  What are you scanning, and what can you give your whole heart to. The children play with their whole heart.

Until I align with spirits will for me I am on the search and con-fused.  Against wholeness.  My yes means nothing until my no is believable.  Pause power is wisdom – until I ceased chasing love and unbarricaded my heart, love could not enter.  Where is your commitment?  To the struggle?  The east door of the lodge is fire – sun.  Patricia and Macy gave me my first name “winter sun fire”.  Out of the light comes will, out of will comes manifestation.  Passion  moves me to a higher vibration – Life is all about commitment – a vow to do the “inner” wedding prior to the outer one.

 

That is who am I am where am I going?  What is my intention?  Of my heart?  To give it all.

I see, I hear, I feel, I sing, I dance, I laugh, and I cry.  I touch.

Those who carry their pain do not like to be touched.  To release is to die (ego death).

This custom of giving our presence is the celebration of the Winter Solstice.  This is our hardest lodge, as winter along the Pacific Crest can be like a lion.   is our honoring the return of the light.  The festival of the Lights, or Christmas, honoring the defeat of the Holly King and the new reign of the Oak King.  Persephone has begun her ascent to lead others out of the dark and into the light.  The Green Man awakens, and the pagan festivals of spring begin to stir and emerge on the Spring equinox.  Merging is the urge to merge.  Attraction/Repulsion stirs my lower nature, the wild man.  The wild woman/man is untamable, and often takes the form of Pan, Kokopelli or Father Nature, Johnny Appleseed, or the seeds of the new and change – dying of the old breath and birth of the new.  Spring gives us hope for the flowers.  Mother Nature in her beauty.

The corruption of Educational Institutions like Oregon State does research paid for by forest products companies.  This is a symptom of us being careless on how we choose those who lead us.  Rather than have “debates”, we can have a golf match.  There is no hiding in movement.  Confront Donald, and film him playing 18 holes of golf with  Biden, the two clowns that the 1% corporate owned media own.

DIALOGUE – conversation between two or more people a  feature of a book, play or movie Logos – divine order – creative order

DEBATE – two opposing sides – formal discourse, discussion on a particular topic, usually with a moderator.  and debates.  Is that to take the bait off the hook and switch to a barb-less hook.

Communication – vibration – not what you say rather the tone you use.  Soft and low – swing low sweet chariot, coming forth to carry me home. A kundalini Instrument is didgeridoo.  Relax and open to receive.  And give – the circular breathing.

 

For years, I have made drums, which involves buying rawhide.  For those who don’t know, rawhide is made from a “green” deer, elk, moose or buffalo and bear hide (one that has been skinned by a hunter), and the first step is fleshing the fat off of the back of the skin.  Is there a correlation between hide as in going to where no one can see me and that which has been “skinned”.  Sometimes I want to go hide and be where no one can see me.  Or sometimes I just need to be held, so I can cry.

Anyway, after the skin is fleshed, you can use wood ash to cover the fleshed skin and bury it in the ground for four days, and then dig it up and you will find the hair comes off easily.  I once did this with my friend when she made her first drum – we found a deer that we had seen alive the day before lying dead by the side of the path.  We both made a prayer to the spirit of the deer and asked permission to take some hide for a drum.  Her first drum was from that deer and has an amazing energy of love and respect.

 

Hope is the thing with feathers – Emily Dickinson

The root of hope is trust or confidence.

Faith without work is dead, i.e. pray for potatoes and grab a hoe – what seeds am I planting and are they seeds of change.