Recovery from my addictive nature

Recovery to a state of grace, humility and music

One thing I learned in recovery is that resentments need daily feeding to exist.  When I cease feeding them, they dissolve.

Resentments go away unless I feed the “black wolf”  This is another definition of FEAR, or false evidence appearing real.  Gratitude feeds the White Wolf.  Each day, I see as an opportunity to leave the world a bit better than I found it.  Manifesting my essence is to “bloom where I am planted”.  A tree does not long to be a rock, rather actualize their potential.  My mad monkey mind throws me into doing.   The perfect balance of do/be is sanity.

Now that I am enough, have enough to eat today, I can be happy and sing like the little bird that is my name, Pinson.  In French, it means small bird.

The winged ones are oft called angels.  The Eagle/Condor prophies are here – the truth will set me free.  Shame keeps me holding on for dear death.  John Bradshaw wrote a book “Healing the shame that binds you”.  This precluded my delving into my shadow, or “hidden” side, which I released in step five – admitted to myself, spirit and another human being the exact nature of my barriers to aliveness.  My first spiritual experience was that confession to my sponsor of the deep shame I graded, prohibiting my true nature to emerge from the underworld.  Gratitude is the grail.  Led by acceptance and courage.  When I exposed my deep dark secrets, I felt a new freedom from fear.   Reading on co-dependency  Pia Melody reminded me that shame is the source of spirituality.  I made many “mistakes”, or as I learned in archery, “missed the mark”.  I sinned, so I “repent” or correct my course.

When I leave the technology and venture into the shadow – cessation –the work of the west. The east/west road is the black wolf-thinking and feeling – both of these working and playing together. This is sanity.