In my fifty years of alcohol free living and a good foundation in many years of Big Book of AA big book discussionand Step meetings. My wise sponsor suggested I cut the “discussion meetings” and attend only step meetings based on “Twelve Steps and 12 Traditions”. I carry those early learnings which seem to be the cornerstones of a happy, joyous and free life.

This morning, I went out to greet the morning in my hot tub – I soaked until my body absorbed the heat and got out and left the lid to the hot tub up…. and 45 minutes later, I re-entered at seven a.m. I placed a hummingbird feeder facing the west direction and on the roof of my neighbor business to my west. they erected an image of Tarus the bull on their flat roof. The second entry into the warm waters, I was greeted by a hummingbird. My name pinson means little bird. The AIR messangers come from my neighboring business which is the west direction crows, raptors and hummers. The animals of the element the air – seagull, the condor/eagle, the hawk, falcoln osprey, the owl of the west and the creatures of the upper world.

In my many years of AA meetings, I heard certain things that still resonate – one is about the two sins. What are the greatest sins?  Interfering with another’s evolution or my own evolution.  We are spiritual beings in a human experience.  I am Patrick.  I am the light and I am the dark.  I am the spiral, the triangle, the circle the square and the cross.  Those five symbols are the structure of the all that is.

I have had the rare treasure of having actualized my potential to at least so much more than I once was.  I am not the man I want to be but thank spirit I am not the man I used to be.  I have created many drums in my latter years on this planet, and but for the grace of God, may I create many more.  I will soon turn 85 years young.  I have walked through many winters, and I am grateful that I have this day to be thankful for.  Today I seem to be on track.  Tracking is an ancient art, whether tracking an animal or tracking a ball in table tennis, I have sharpened my skills. 

     Sometimes I feel off track, lethargic and stuck.  That usually happens when I have procrastinated taking care of my affairs and the ones that I care about.  Today, I feel a bit more centered.  Deena Speer, in her personal work with me and my daughter has helped me learn to “zip up”.  There is a place in each one of us where there is perfect peace.  Often when we are in another’s vibrational field, we lose our own centeredness and feel off balance.  Zipping up is the process of staying in my own field while honoring the other.  From My own center and stillness, I can allow my breath to move me.   When I was a boy my dad bought a small home in Jupiter Florida where I attended kindergarten and first grade.  My mother and her mother, my grandma and my dad’s dad, my grandpa lived there also.  I remember the hurricanes where the children were herded to the schoolhouse basement.  We waited for the fury of mother nature to pass.  I remember the eye of the hurricane as the storm moved through the small town.  There was a wonderful stillness in that eye, and yet that stillness was only temporary.   I thank the spirits for this gift of the breath of life.  Tracking and breathing are what I teach and practice each day.  When I forget, I become dis-membered.  Then I have to re-member.  There is no teaching that you don’t already know.  I might say something to re-mind you of what you deeply know.  What resonates with your truth?  Truth isn’t “opinion”, truth is a resonance.  I make drums.  Drums resonate.  you.  The drum is the heartbeat of my sacred mother earth and my teacher.  When I can calm the mad monkey of the mind, I can return to that quiet place within where there is peace.  In shamanism, the job of the healer is to re-connect each day to my Chi, Ki or center, as so many are caught up in the turbulence.  Drums, rattles and flutes help me remain sane.