Quietness

            A “principal” of the pipe is that of silence and stilling the mind.  The Mingo/Seneca peoples created this by “Going into the Silence”, which was like the “vision quest”, yet was just something they did.  To spend three nights and four days alone in nature is refreshing for the soul.  To learn to love and nurture myself in my solitude has been a great discovery, full of demons and fears.  I once heard at the edge of silence come the demons.  The void can be fertile or chaotic.  Without clear intention, the void is filled with random chaos.  The thing that I have learned is to call in the highest spirits with intention.  Cleaning up my own clutter was first taught to me in recovery.  They told me to do a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself, and to share this with another.  My loving sponsor watched me take these directions and turn this inventory into a seventy-six dissertation on what I had done “wrong”.  When I presented him this “paper”, he read it and laughed.  He said you are giving countless examples of the symptoms of an underlying cause and reminded me that an inventory is a balance of positive and negative.  He helped me trace the symptoms to the underlying error thought – self centered fear.  Out of the self-centered fear is birthed false pride, greed, lust, avarice, covet ness, Pride and sloth. Also, among the barriers to sprits flow through us is perfectionism and procrastination.  I have noticed successful and “animated” people see and act in a less fearful way.  Step four of recovery is that we took a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves.  When I do this, I expose what is, rather than hide.  When I hide, I regress.  When I expose, I progress.  Exposing my secrets takes courage, and I know when I am progressing, for my heart races.  When I risk, I expand.  When I posture, I implode.  This process of expansion/contraction is the basis of change.  The new will come in through release of the old.  I reinvent myself each moment, and as I follow my fears, dance toward my wounds, my integrity grows.

““GO OVER IN THE CORNER AND COUNT YOURSELF”

I was told, as I complained about the actions of others to my wise sponsor.  What can I do about the “gossip, judgments and abuse I saw in the clubhouse where I attended daily AA meetings         I asked?  Don’t do it yourself, he replied.  Work in the solution, not the problem.  Be a positive example rather than a critic he would tell me.  I have been guided in a “shamanic journey” regarding these shifts to beware of building anything on personalities, rather sick with the principals.  I would rather see a sermon than hear one.  My friend Leon and I would joyfully play on the golf course with the “Missouri” philosophy.  Show me.  State your intention of where you will hit the ball and create that outcome.  False Pride is what Bill Wilson was talking about when he referred to “Ego deflation at depth”, the prerequisite of recovery.  Humility is gained in recovery through selfless service.  I have had this discussion with my teacher and friend Leon, and we disagreed on the concept of “Original Sin” verses “Original Blessing”.  It seems to me that this is the core of most all behavior, forgiveness and judgment.  We are spiritual beings in a human experience.  As long as I believe this, my behavior can be discerned from who I am, and if I trust the truth in this, I am able to forgive myself and others for behaviors that are not aligned with my highest good, and the highest good for others.  My sponsor taught through his actions, which were aligned with his words.  He had no “need” to talk about others, judge them, or compare himself with others.  When conflict occurred in meetings, as it often does when some drunk comes in and disrupts the meeting, he was the picture of serenity.  He lived the program, and lived by the wisdom of the simple prayer we spoke at the beginning of each meeting – “God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference” He taught me to let go of my judgments and attachments to being right or compare myself with others, and reminded me that acceptance was the key to all of my problems.

            Sure, there was gossip, dysfunction, and imperfect behavior around AA meetings, yet I could be a model for a new and more congruent way   Judge not lest you be judged.  “Live and let Live”.  These are the spiritual principals of recovery, and of a life of Grace and Ease.  We are given Grace by a power, or powers greater than ourselves, and this is freely given to each child of spirit.

            In the circle, each person is equal.  Horizontal flows happen naturally when self esteem is present.  Respect for me flows from self respect.  I am one… no less than or greater than another.  If I am granted more than I can use, I can share this with others who may have less than I, yet giving at my expense depletes me.  If my friend is hungry, I feed them.  By sharing my bounty, I am practicing philanthropy.  In Philanthropy, there are five levels of giving.  The lowest level is giving because someone asks, i.e. do you have any spare change?

The next highest is giving for recognition, i.e. all the buildings and art centers named for the giver.  The next highest is feeding the hungry, followed by teaching the hungry how to feed themselves.  The highest levels of giving are those gifts that are given without clamor or recognition.  Those gifts that I give that no one knows except me and the spirits.  Those gifts are the foundation of the most precious grail of humility.  The sacred grows in the silence and hidden.  The wise hold what they know so that the sacred grows.  Lynx teaches me silence, for lynx I was told is the know-er of knowledge.  When I know something, I have no “need” to convince others, and my knowledge is given only when asked, with proper respect.  Medicine men and women of old were valued and supported by the tribes without question.  Today, this tradition has atrophied, and in my store, I educate people about the offering.  When you seek council from a wise teacher or Medicine Person, you bring an offering.  The offering of tobacco was a traditional way to approach those Medicine people.  You would never hand tobacco to them, rather set it down and make your request.  If they accept to be your teacher, they will pick up the tobacco, which is agreeing to be your teacher, mentor and guide.  Today, I suggest money be given.  Authentic Medicine people would never “ask” for money, yet I see many who have chosen this path really struggle with financial matters.  I encourage those who seek council to give money.  How much they ask?  I say give until it feels good, not till it hurts.  Giving and receiving are one, as my breath shows me each moment – I give out, I take in.  My heart knows these laws of circulation, yet when I barricade my heart, I stop the flow.  Love is given freely, and is returned freely, without resistances or barriers.  At my mother’s funeral, I read from the bible the beautiful statement on Love from Corinthians.  Love is not jealous, does not put on airs.  More…..